monkeys-eyes

...check that date...the world outside my window seems the same to me, the past doesn't feel any further away, but the future DOES...
maybe I am hiding from something here...maybe, I don't know.
maybe I am hiding from finding out what I am hiding from.
usually, I run from trouble.
this time, I don't even want to know what kind of trouble I'm in.
isn't it so very easy just to sit here, do nothing, watch the world carry on its life outside, the people go about their business, and close the curtains, turn on the T.V. and complain that life is taking you nowhere?
so, this christmas, I am going back to England.
I could end up in a world of trouble.
I realise it is a huge risk I am taking.
so why am I not running the other way?
time for an el smoko.

What I realised last night: I have enough time on my hands to lead a double-life.

I'm hearing voices, calling me-"Come and play, come and play"-they say, "Come join us in the snow, float in the mist, lose your way back home. Jump up and down, turn around, fall to the floor, crack your head against the rocks". I look for people, there's no-one there, just a thousand snow-angels on the floor where a thousand people have died before.

What I wish I was reading today: Crime and Punishment, by Fyodor Dostoevsky.
What I am reading today: Norwegian newspapers.

so, the middle of august came and went, and i must have missed all your emails.
is there any real point to typing thoughts that only i will read? isn't it more efficient just to keep them exactly where they are, where, again, only i can read them?
but hey, maybe the administrators of this site are occasionally reading this...maybe they have somethng to monitor whatever is being written...so if i write..."OSAMA, i will meet you under the bridge on 32nd street to discuss our PLANS for the next huge BOMBING CAMPAIGN on AMERICAN LANDMARKS...oh, and i think that SADDAM will be turning up too, he has an idea for a CONSPIRICY to OVERTHROW the PRESIDENT"...maybe then, my page will be read by someone.
maybe someone important, at that..?
"you ask for a miracle, i give you the FBI..."

last night i saw an angel.
he/she (they are very difficult to tell apart. what do you do, ask them to lift up their gown?) told me not to worry.
i told him/her that i wasn't worried, and that i didn't realise that there was anything to not-worry about. did i need to be worried in the first place?
so then i started worrying that something was going on that i didn't know about.
those angels.
mischevious little buggers.

it has dawned upon me that maybe it is not worth my time typing banal stuff about myself, just for a taste of cyber-immortality. i have decided to hold a poll.
if anybody is reading this, at all, i would like you to email me. put the word "blog" somewhere in the title, or i probably won't see it, and delete it. if i recieve an email before the middle of august, maybe i'll carry on.
or maybe i won't.
its up to you, i guess.
your beloved writer,
jamie jones,
mojojojo0@hotmail.com or
tarquin_delouche@hotmail.com

so, now i find myself stuck in a situation that makes me sad. i'm here, and i can't get out for a while. and no amount of crying will change that. i guess you would understand.
its amazing how slow time passes when you're trying to hold on.

I PLEDGE ALIEGENCE TO THE FLAG OF THE GREATEST AND MOST FREE COUNTRY IN THE WORLD AND TO THE REPUBLIC FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION, UNDER THE ONE TRUE GOD, MY GOD, WHATEVER THE COST, WITH LIBERTY AND "JUSTICE" FOR ALL WHO DO AS I SAY.

so, anyway, i've been thinking. i've never had a benefactor before. how do you act towards one? do you have to call him "sir"? do i have to name my first child after him?

YOU LOVE ME, DON'T YOU? SAY IT! SAY IT!! I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY IT!!! SAY IT OR ITS CURTAINS FOR YOU.

it is now the third day of my new life in the blogging world, and i have come to realise that my life is not exciting enough to keep an online journal. i have also thought about the fact that if someones life IS so exciting that a blog must be kept up to date, then they would have no time to sit typing about it every day.

i have decided that i need a gadget. i want a cool little thing i can take out of my pocket and play with every now and again. something like a PDA with some extra little essential things that every boy needs. like a game of top trumps that you can play with your friends hundreds of miles away, or a tree mapping system that automatically calculates the fastest, or most challenging way to climb a tree. all you do is point a camera at it, and it takes a picture, and does the rest itself. (somewhere in there, theres a "root-mapping system" joke, but maybe thats too obvious).
did i mention that i'm 26?

i'm starting to get worried about my friend tom he's never had so many violent tendencies before. maybe he's playing too many computer games.

NEEDED: A TRAINING COURSE IN PICKING LOCKS, BREAKING SAFES, AND SMUGGLING JEWELS ACROSS BORDERS.